...past conversations re-playing continuously in my head, like a broken video player
and so my new blogskin in up! lovely and it describes my mood perfectly... okay so im feeling emo at the moment and have been for the last few weeks or so... dont bother asking why... for those who know.. well you know.. and for those who dont.. im pmsing.. yeah just stick to that okies?
yeah okayys well... electives are turning out to be very fun.. out of the 100+ people who signed up for the Legal Arena, only 20 of us got in!! x)) im very happy about getting cause on the one hand i had to complete Govt & Politics section of electives and this looked super FUN. it is.. (im gloating to those you didnt get in.. WAHAHA) my elective group is made up of pei yi, shirleen, angel, junxiang and me... we're a fun bunch and we get along just perfectly... we're doing a presentation skit and guess what. im the narrator for one part and acting like a crazy-obsessed person who is completely obsessed with junxiang... well at least i dont talk much... and hopefully i wont be that embarressed. heh. HOPEFULLY.
yall remember that new years resolution.. mmm.. number 10 if i recall right. yeahh well it didnt work out very well though i did accomplish it... im thinking i should now change it to 'forget about that crush' but since i cant go back in time (though i wish i could) or change what people saw... i'll just leave it as that...
today in school pei yi, jun xiang and i were recalling old times.. primary school and secondary school embarressing incidents and answering random questions... it was very fun, hearing all the amusing incidents which happened... cept maybe hearing that pei yi punched a guy for like the millionth time... hahaha...
oh gosh i really dont feel like being in a happy mood when i feel so damned tormented inside. i wish life was simple as a yes or no. i wish i knew all the answers to the choices i was gonna make and i wish i already knew what the outcome of those choices were. i wish i understood how the human works, how to read minds, how to turn back time... i want to relive ta1 all over again.. only this time i already knew what was gonna happen... i feel incomplete... like my sec3 life flew past and missed me out. i wanna go back and twinge changes here and there. like not keeping my cedar girl self hidden, cooped up inside me again... now people think im being influenced by claudia everytime my cedar self appears for a breather... especially the guys, you should have seen me in cedar, you'll realise this is the side of me which is different... i was never this quiet, this EMO. but then again if i'd stayed in cedar, i wouldnt have become this emo.. -.- yeah ta1 was like going back to primary school... i'd learnt how to live in a girls school like it was second nature.. now i had to go back to my primary school self, which little twists and mishaps... i realise that i hurt myself (accidentally of course like weird cuts here and there which i dont even know how i got them appearing all over the place) more in a mixed school.. its like im allergic to guys or smth... or maybe im just more clumsy? gosh.. wouldnt that just suck.
its all just wishful thinking isnt it? i cant go back in time, i cant go forward in time, im just stuck here in the present wishing and hoping with all my might that the times will get better, knowing that one day i'll be in a state of complete bliss and thats with or without you. because i control my life. and right now im telling myself that time wont change for me, and since it wont, then i'll change through time... no matter how cliche it sounds no matter how darned cheesy it looks.. thousands have done it and i refuse to share a tight confined space with misery even though it seems as though in the past few years it seems to enjoy my company a lot.
its just shitty.. the things you cant control... (i've got the sudden urge to write: but for everything else there's master card) ... i love writing... maybe this weekend if i've got time i'll write a short story everytime i write a story or express myself i feel so relieved .. like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders... ahhhhhh i feel so much better
i guess i should thank hong yi for forcing me to update.. you demanding nut. make me change blogskin and update all in one night. well grr to you. and stop trying to bully me. xp
ahhh time to sleep. i guess i can go to sleep much more at rest than i was just now. yupps yupps. gosh its been a long time since i've poured out my heart.. sigh.. till next time then. toodleloo! arriverderci! *muax* to all my darlings. and comment on my new blogskin okies? love yall LOADS.
for those who keep telling me that my darned pictures cant be seen. i KNOW. i just havent gotten around reuploading it again. im feeling lazy. so there. xD haha... just kidding.. probably will after i finish this post.. x))
okies then. hellos again. oh yeah. HAPPY CNY!! haha.. yupps my four-day weekend is ending!!! *pout* the teachers were so kind, we had so little homework so for the first time in weeks i feel so relaxed.. i slacked the entire weekend away. WHEEE. on the first day of the chinese new year, sunday, my poor little sister had food poisoning from the food we ate last night... sigh.. so we stayed at home the entire day and couldn't go bai nian. (all those hong baos!!!) haha anyway. i stayed at home and became a couch potato, watching movies all day long.. wahaha.
on the second day i went out to my grandma's house, then my mother's sister's house. most of my hong bao money came from my grandma and my parents but im still very happy with the amount of money i collected x)) it'll sure be of good use especially since im PLANNING to go for that trip to greece at the end of the year, (hopefully mr elwin will not change his mind about that) haha yepps.
today, is supposed to be another movie marathon, but i havent gone out to the dvd store to get the dvds yet, shall do that soon i guess.. probably after i finish my blog post and before lunch. i THINK. haha.
oh yes. valentine's day came and went already... im glad to say that all the people i gave my yellow rose and that heart to were very happy x)) i didnt get a lot of valentine's day presents, mostly sweets and chocolates ( i esp loved the one denise gave me. dove chocolate) lol im still very amused over the present pei yi gave me. imagine that. socks on valentine's day. haha.. at least they are pink... coincidentally i was wearing pink socks that day. oh yeah. how could i forget. the beautiful champagne coloured rose which sonia gave me... my first ever valentine's day rose!! xD thanks so much sonia!! i took like around 4 pictures of it, 2 with me and 2 without. one of them currently adons my tablet background. another is the wallpaper on my phone. hahas. oh yes speaking of that chocolate denise gave me, during break, i actually thought she had a lot left so i tried to find her during break to ask her for some more. the first time i went to 2D i had 4 or 5 people saying hello to me one after another... tehehe, paint me popular. hahaha.. but sadly denise wasnt there, so i decided to come back later, which i did but to my horror, she had given ALL away cept one, so i told her to keep it for herself ... see im so kind. hahhaa.. i stayed in 2D talking with denise and sonia all the way till break ended and then denise decided to give me half of that one chocolate she had left.. haha.. i just took it x)) ah yes.. another thing i liked about valentine's day, we got to wear home clothes to school and on a WEDNESDAY. (wednesday = full school uniform + tie) hahas lots of people kept telling me how they loved my shirt. i love it too! haha..
okay so i didnt manage to go out on valentine's day (cause of that stupid physics project thing otherwise pei yi and i would have gone out shopping) but it was still a very interesting bus ride home... i took the bus 12 all the way to the pasir ris interchange with junxiang... we were talking all the way back.. but there was this one place where it looked as if a fight was gonna break out on the bus on the upperdeck ... we were on the upperdeck... i was actually quite scared... okay fine i was very scared. yeah but the bus driver stopped anything before anything started thank god.
all in all it was quite a good day. albeit i didnt go out. ah wells there's still next year. especially since the new j1s will be MY AGE. hints hints. haha.. hopefully they arent all nerds. lols. im joking la.. and besides when they are my age.. that would mean that i would see more of my old friends!!! x)))) haha.. okay im getting ahead of myself.
hmm wells i've got to go eat lunch now. maybe i'll come back and post again... if i feel like it.. hahas x)) wells then *muax* to all my darlings and arriverderci! much love to all!
ALRIGHT ALRIGHT already. geez you want me to update i'll just update! *pout* stop chasing i KNOW i havent updated in more than a month thanks. i can COUNT. yesyes. life's been busy if you havent noticed. at this moment i should be doing my chemistry report 3 which is due today, but with a lot of time left so. like i promised. im updating. x)
okay lets see.. whats been happening in my life.. wellllll... im already 16 xD and have been since the 25th of jan tehehe.. i didnt get a whole lot of presents but thats fine with me.. thanks to pei yi, serene, peng ho and claudia for giving me my presents!!! i love them loads.. hahas.
my new class of 2Ao6 isnt bad.. the people inside are very nice.. but i do kinda miss being in 1Bo6, i mean you can practically feel the hardworking theme being played continuously in my class.. i miss the laughter, the jokes, the slackers and the people who bring all this fun.. the guys. the guys in my class are nice people... jun xiang, qilong, fang xiong, changlong... but you have to miss the jokers and slackers...(whom make us, hardworking people, feel so much better) haha.. i also miss the girls in 1B... sigh... there is one person i dont really like in my class... arh wells each class must have a black sheep aint it.. haha.. x)) the rest of the class is made up of very fun and interesting people. hahha..
i could complain more and more but to be quite honest i'd rather not do it here, who knows who will be reading this huh? well not that many people read my blog but still one cant be too careful huh. x)
okie okie enough with the bad stuff!! VALENTINE'S DAY is coming soon!!! haha so is valerie's bday.. since they are the same day.. lol.. 5 more days. xD i wonder who's gonna gimme a valentine's day presents.. haha.. to all my close friends.. you'll all get a very cool surprise! haha.. i really dont feel like updating more and i should get back to my chem report, then my bio worksheet and after that my 4 current affairs articles and must not forget to study for the test on tuesday.. hahas. cause i wanna go out on monday.. x))
hahas. okies then till i blog again. arriverderci! *muax* to all my darlings.. i miss you 1Bo6!!