...past conversations re-playing continuously in my head, like a broken video player
x) since i have been asked to update... i shall comply... x) crap im uber hyper now. hmm... well the latest thing that happened was... i managed to convince my mum to let me go out (to get my sister's birthday pressie) with friends!! wahahaha.. went out last friday with peng ho and claudia... i shall skip to the interesting parts.. then again the entire thing was interesting... bleah. i shall blog what i want. xp
so. it was the first time i was late for ANYTHING. can you imagine the horror! even peng ho was earlier than me... *sobs* but then again we were both late. heh. haha then later, claudia was late too! the reason nearly made me lose my footing (oh did i mention? i was in HEELS) she was playing warcraft... like. WHAT?! okay.. lols. enough drama for now. hmm.. well lets see we went to marina square despite the fact that i had already gone there last monday, and spent quite alot on lunch (peng ho's fault: lets go to kenny rogers!) x) haha jkjk.. hmm well we went to the arcade and later watched a movie.. Death Note cause claudia wanted to watch it.. and peng ho didnt mind watching it again... me? i was hoping to watch The Prestige.. but i guess Death Note wasnt that bad...
i wont give much spoilers but lemme just say this.. it shouldnt have been called Death Note.. the entire movie was about Obssession... im serious. everyone was just plain OBSSESSED with something or other. and girls. please the guys in there are NOT cute. especially not 'L' whose obssesion goes beyond trying to catch Kira... ahem. im talking about all that FOOD. how on earth does he eat all that and not get FAT. that idiot is as skinny as a beanpole... and where on earth does he find all the space in his stomach to eat all that hmm? crazy, i tell you.
Kira is obssessed with not getting caught and still trying to achieve his own sense of 'justice', the head of police is obssessed with finding Kira, L (is just some stupid idiotic 17ish-year-old with too high an IQ to fit into his brain) is obssessed with proving that Light is Kira oh and not to forget his UNhealthy obssession with food.... blahblahblah. the number of people in the movie who have obssessions are too many to name. and besides no more spoilers!
x) haha... vell nothing much to say... cause nothing much happened recently.. oh but my parents are gonna go to canada next week, and my grandma's gonna come over to stay for a week x)
and when they come back.. its my turn to go to ITALY!!! x)
counting down the days man! arrividerci *muax* to all my darlings...
Life is cruel. No one deserved that, least of all her. She is was always fun and happy to be around, cheerful and always tried to bring us back to earth when we were floating around and joking during a group discussion. She's one of the very few people who could make me hyper just by being there. She always laughed at my cute jokes, and loved to play with my hair. I'm getting very jumbled up, just writing all that comes to my mind. She is was many more things. I missed her really terribly during OBS, she was supposed to be in my watch, and all the while i kept thinking of all the memories which i could tell her, the highs and lows, all the fun and horribleness. I felt so lonely without her. I just kept thinking of how much more fun it would be if she were there. I kept thinking that i would see her soon, even subconsciously praying she would get well soon. I'm racking my brain trying to remember when i last saw her, which date, which day... it just won't come to mind... now i just don't feel like doing my LA project, cause she was in my group.
Yesterday was just a very rough day. But everyone was so happy to go back home. The guys were cheering 'Singapore! Singapore!' all the way back. I thought they should have been cheering 'Mainland! Mainland!' instead, cause technically, pulau ubin was part of Singapore. Weirdos. then we had to go back to school first cause they said they wanted to debrief us, they said that most of us would be going to LT2, then later 1B was directed to Comp Lab 2 instead... we were wondering why we were so special... when we got there, there were a few bottles of water and 2 tissue boxes inside... I was wondering if the bottles of water were for us... but someone pointed out that there were too little... so i thought maybe it was left over from the last time people used the lab. we got settled down, still chattering and complaining about OBS, then Ms Yeow told us to settle down and keep quiet. The moment she opened her mouth and told us about Priyanka, i knew something was wrong, i was hoping with all my might it would be that she would be returning to us soon... but no. Ms Yeow's voice echos in my mind even now.
"...she passed away on tuesday at 5.30pm Singapore time..." tears started to form in my eyes, slowly trickling down my face as i heard her carrying on... i turned to my right and i saw claudia crying... i just couldn't stop myself from crying too.. on my right joanne and nicky were crying too... a teacher opened a tissue box an handed it to us... after taking one i passed it to claudia, she looked like she needed it more than i did... I just kept thinking that i wouldn't ever see her again... or hear her voice... as i'm typing this, tears are starting to form in my eyes too... i don't see how life can be this cruel, to wrench out a piece of our life, just when she was responding well to her treatment.
No one deserved it, especially not her. Can you imagine? I feel as if my heart was ripped out, i just couldnt stop crying. denise came over and gave me a hug, even then i couldnt stop, most of the guys were sitting there looking solemn, i wonder what was running through their minds. peng ho came over and asked me if i was okay, i shook my head. no, i wasn't okay, someone just told me just friend just d--- i cant even say it. as we were walking out of the comp lab later, glen came over and put his arm on my shoulder, telling me to calm down, it would be alright, just go home and sleep. dawn came over and put her arm around me telling me that it would be okay... i just nodded, i couldnt talk... denise and i walked to the canteen and sat down, then she started crying, and telling me that the last day she saw pri, she lent her her jacket and bought bread for her... it brought tears to my eyes again, ms rabi'ah came and sat with us too, her crying still apparent... peng ho came over and tried to comfort me again... then he went off to ljs with some guys... denise and i had a few words with ms yeow and the vp... then we had to go off cause our parents came already... no surprise i was still crying in the car on the way back home...
i talked to peng ho again just before i went to sleep, he was still trying to convince me that everything would get better, i knew they would, but for now it seems impossible, it seems like a part of us is just gone, lost somewhere...
i would write about my OBS trip maybe later, but for now, this is what i have to say.
Priyanka, wherever you are, i hope you're at peace, i know we will miss you terribly and you'll forever remain in our hearts. i wish i could give you a hug and say good bye, but i cant. so wherever you are now, i hope you can feel our love and that you are happy and safe.
guys, none of us knew it would ever be possible or that it would ever happen, feel free to let your emotions go, if you want to talk and it helps, anyone would do, we aren't alone in this remorse, we all feel shocked and devestated and i hope we can get through this together, one for all and all for one. sonia, if you ever read this, i hope you know that we are there for you if you need us. Treasure those around you, and always make sure they always know how you feel about them, don't let them be torn from your life without knowing they were loved by you.
arriverderci, dear friends, and thank you priyanka, for being part of our lives in ta1B06.
MUAHAHAHA. they ended. on monday. WOOHOO. x) i had so much fun on monday... jamming of course.. then on tuesday i had to go to the doctors... but on wednesday.... tehehe.. I ... yes I... had organised a class outing. woots. i know unexpected huh. =)) yeah i had to fix some details but i was very surprised when everyone was so enthu on going... x)
met up at somerset station. and the people slowly came. one after another. except pei yi and glen who came together. honestly were you expecting any less.. tehehe. hahas. then we went to macs first cause glen was hungry heh. in which. the guys kept going in the wrong direction. and hong yi split his coke. oh and glen's cheese fries had this strand of hair in it. lols. oh oh oh oh oh OH! did i tell you what i was wearing? hmm? it was soooo nice. x) i was wearing a halter and my jeans. i havent worn that halter since my sister's 10th birthday, or maybe it was her 11th birthday.. dont give me that look. YES i can still fit in it. xp
i went to buy the movie tickets 14 in total cost us 98 bucks. yikes. then i really really really felt like going to the heeren. and i got a call from claudia. saying they were done in school and were heading over... peng ho was pretending he wasnt going. hah! but claudia managed to tell me he was. HAH! hahas. then i was really really surprised when he called me on my handphone. since firstly he's using a prepaid card... every outgoing call he would need to pay. hmm . weird.. i thought he would have smsed me to call him or smth.. haha... i was walkin with pei yi and sonia.. the guys went to watch a movie before our movie. so yeah. then just when we were planning on enjoying ourselves, window shopping and gossiping at the heeren. guess who happened to appear... yupp you got it. hong yi. -.-" and we were hoping for an all girls outing to heeren. at least for a while. x)
the three of us were trying to be as girly as ever, going to all girly places. i realise now we should have just gone into the lingerie store. sigh. we did try to go into this prom dress store... but SOMEONE had to push sonia away from the store. sigh. pei yi and i were wondering where sonia went. hmm... then we went to HMV. we kinda gave up on the 'chase hong yi away' thing already. and besides i wanted to go into the HMV store. and then. claudia, rimiko, wanshi, pengho and keith finally reached x) we were hanging around chatting as we waited for the guys who went to the toilet. and we were wondering why they were taking so long... when pengho came out we realised why. they went to change. haha.. so then we headed back to cineleisure cause most of us hadnt eaten yet.
after which we split up, claudia, rimiko, wanshi and i all went to the heeren to window shop and take neoprints while hong yi, peng ho, keith and pei yi all went to the arcade. i had such a fun time with them =)) we walked around gossiping and then we took neoprints before going back to cineleisure. were we went to the arcade and watched the lot of them playing para para. omg SO FUNNY. everyone was so mechanical. and peng ho looked as if he was swatting flies... hahha... he nearly hit my face a couple of times. hahahs x) then they alll wanted me to go play. i was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. but they were all pleading... and peng ho was almost dragging me to the thing. sigh. i seriously didnt know how to play. so peiyi held my right wrist and dragged it around until i got the hang of it. i heard everyone telling me what to do.... lols. cool.. despite the fact that i seriously didnt know how to play, i still had fun... and i want to go do it again. only this time around. im going to make sure its a pure girls outing and they are ALL wearing homeclothes so that all of us can play. x)
then it was time to watch the movie. John Tucker Must Die. lols. it was so funny... so so so so funny. hahaha. but sadly the main actor aint that cute. i swear the other tucker was so much more cute. well at least cuter than his brother. and then it was time to go home. i lost my wallet so then i went back to the counter to get it back... surprisingly i wasnt so worried about it. i felt rather sian about it. in the end, i got it back.. haha.. some miscommunication involved but still they managed to give it back to me. x)
in the train on the way home .. firstly i got pangsei-ed by pengho who went with keith to play dota i think. i later heard when they finished it was already 2230 wow huh. then on the way home, i got bullied by peiyi and glen. who were teasing me about my height. again. people i get it. im SHORT. you dont have to remind me every time you remember it. i can feel that you are taller than me since it is me who has to look up everytime i try to talk to you. xp. and in myran's case i actually have to crain my neck. and he's 27 cm taller than me. bleah.
on thursday, we went to school and had this really ridiculous talk about grooming and eqiutte. or however you spell it. then later i had Hip Hop class.. OMG FUN. it was a bit like mass dance only it was much much easier. i daresay i think its even easier than s club party.. haha.
then later i went for lunch with claudia. and we gossiped and gossiped.. it was so FUN. just talking and talking about guys and crushes. i havent had that kinda open talk in ages! i used todo it everyday in cedar. well. almost, erm, whenever yani had stuff to talk about her bf that is. haha.. thats kinda weekly things so.. tehehe
on friday.. we got back some of our papers. and i actually cried when i got back my physics paper. there was already this feeling of impending doom looming over me.. but i never expected myself to fail it. i got 24/50 for it. can you imagine. 1 mark and i would have passed. wth. the rest was kinda expected. Maths A, Lang Arts C, Chem A (unexpectedly, i topped the class), Bio C, Physics D, Chinese C. yupps i think thats about it. oh and thanks to everyone who comforted me when they saw me crying... that would be peiyi of course, sadia, claudia, ellery and peng ho.. and thanks to wanshi and peng ho for the tissue. x)
i was depressed for the rest of the day but im getting better now. its just a huge blow cause i have never failed a paper before. ever. so yeah. but now i aint allowed to go out with friends for a while... but then again obs is next week.. i'll be able to spend loads of time around friends (i hope) for 5 days whoosh! cool huh? tehehe. speaking of obs, i still havent packed. haha. got sunday to pack i guess.. now currently waiting for mum to bring food home for dinner. x) i could go play another round of o2jam before she comes home i guess.. oh and i got kicked out of the gameroom 8 times today. idiots.
haha. ciao! arriverderci! *muax* to all my darlings, you know who you are!
7 days... i have no idea why i suddenly feel like posting when the last few months i had nothing to talk about.. or i didnt have the time or something like that. ahem. right anyway... i did manage to finish my book last night... and it was 5 minutes before 10pm how quaint =))
it was so sweet!!!!! and so FLUFFY!!!! well it is a meg cabot book. can you expect any less?? HELL NO. x) shooo... hmm.. this morning's maths exam was HORRIBLE yes it was. humph. stupid stupid STUPID me was reminding myself tangent = O/H then i went to put SINE. what the HELL is wrong with me. STUPID guinea pig. so distracting. can you imagine i was actually thinking that the guinea pig was so cute... and then the entire question was done wrongly... NO MORE GUINEA PIGS in the next maths test... or any other cute little furry animals. which includes hamsters, dogs (cept maybe those chinese-crested, bulldogs, and maybe a shitsu too) humph. made me in a bad mood for the maths paper part 2.
second part of the horror. qn 4 ii.... sinA. i found out sin B and sin C but i couldnt find any way to link in sinA. then later joanne tells me to draw a diagram and add a perpendicular line in the center. and it HITS ME. like a bullet through my heart i tell you. and no i am not being dramatic. i feel horrid. HORRID. and as if thats not bad enough.. qn 6.. i asked the teacher. is it compound interest or simple interest, cause the way the question was phrased, it looked like compound interest.. but part 3 of the question made it simple interest.. cause it asked what would be the nth amount of the sum... and do you know what the teacher said? i cant tell you, you have to read the question. HUMPH
its a simple question! simple or compound. make my life and your life easier. my life cause i will know how to do.. your life cause you dont have to be so stressed cause you see so many people getting it wrong. HUMPH
oh and have i mentioned. clare has a REALLY strong grip. seriously.. the moment she saw me today.. she grabbed my wrist and started asking me about trigo identities.. im like.. whaaaaaa... my wrist my wrist... then i was literally enveloped in a hug.. yikes. scary... not that i usually mind hugs.. i mean i hugged a lot of people today...comforting and just wishing them luck... but whoa. i just didnt expect that. lols.
been preparing for my LA exam... reading through my book again and trying to get more quotes about human relationships and discrimination... i wonder if 'i hate you, you hate me' that kinda thing is still included in the list of different relationships in the book.... *interesting* and beside the point.. and i've been listening to Colourblind by Darius for the entire afternoon... it just makes me smile.. the lyrics i mean.. =)) its sho shweet... yes it is..
ya know i've actually realised.. that people arent really that tall.. ahem. im talking about GIRLS. so i just its okay to be my height. even though i get teased alot.. dont get me wrong, i dont mind it at all.. i just love getting all that attention x) im weird so sue me... in books, the girls are always saying the guys are so much taller than them... either the guys are just abnormally tall, or the girls are short, and they dont seem to have a problem with it.. im not saying i follow things by the book, (literally) i just mean that if other people dont have a problem, be them fictional or non, i dont think its that much of an issue.
(once pei yi reads this she'll poke fun at me and tell me how much taller she is than me.. i think its around 10 cm or so, yes dear, i know that you are A LOT taller than me.)
call me random, it just that i've been thinking alot... and looking an cute quotes.. and i guess it doesnt help that i was reading such a FLUFFY book plus the fact that the lyrics of Colourblind are still rampaging through my mind. haha.. well the point is that i've been thinking a lot about That One Guy.. ya know my dream guy... in my mind its kinda clear how he should be and physical appearence and stuff.. the problem which i think is everyone's problem is the face. yes it is. the face of that guy just refuses to appear. and no i will not tell you who my dream guy is. nor will i bother to describe... why should you know.. its my dream guy! why so kiasu! haha... x) *sigh* some quiz or something once said that my kind of person... god knows which kind.. can always wait for the right one to come along... then the thought occurs to me.. how will i know.. then there's this cliche saying that i will just know.. im seriously wondering if these people live in some dreamland where love at first sight is possible... maybe it can be if those people fall for people's physical attributes, but isnt love always quoted as 'blind'?
just stuff to ponder over i guess... hmm.. thinking about it.. i guess i kinda understand, since my belief is that you can pick your friends, but you cant pick who you love, so be picky when you can x) since people you love start out as friends you should always be VERY picky when choosing your friends. which is why i am. and when i realise i made a wrong choice i guess i have to bear the consequences, just grin and bear it haha..
i still remember a blog post i had last year on the universe.. AHEM.. NOT einstein's theory of relativity mind you, its just my own theory about stuff.. i was in one of those nostalgic moods and was staring at the stars when the thought just occured to me... and that blog post actually made joy think i was a capable of being a psychologist... haha which i may be.. i havent decided =)
im very hungry and shall go bother my mum now... i'll leave you with some quotes which just touched my heart and those which made me laugh =)
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love. ~Albert Einstein"
"You know when you have found your prince because you not only have a smile on your face but in your heart as well. ~Author Unknown"
"If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular? ~Author Unknown"
"Trip over love, you can get up. Fall in love and you fall forever. ~Author Unknown"
"I've fallen in love many times... always with you. ~Author Unknown"
PS. why are there so many 'Author Unknown's i tell you whoever this person is, he's definitely knows a lot about love. (if you all dont roll your eyes after reading that sentence i swear you have no common sense at all)
Ciao! arriverderci darlings! love ya all.. x)) *muax*
8 days to freedom. yes i am counting. i just want my exams to be over. *sigh* .. been thinking lately.. yes i know its a very dangerous habit of mine.. x) so i've been wondering why people dont like to blog in paragraphs.... like i do... then i went to read through my posts.. OUCH white white white line after line.. in tiny arial words. yes OUCH. and yet here i am typing in paragraphs again. -.- something must have messed up my brain.. hmm.. maths exam tomorrow. *sigh* can you feel the pressure? is it burning you up? can you feel the bloodrush? i can... i have this huge urge to take my new book by meg cabot and bury myself.. okay maybe not bury myself.. just huddle in my favorite spot on the couch and read till im done.. or till its 10.. which ever comes first.. then enjoy the 80s music coming from the radio... all 80s weekend =) rocks man.. haha.. shall go attempt to do. something. now. ....
something...
or maybe i'll just take my book...
and sneak away...
ciao!
ps. arriverderci darlings x) love ya all! *muax* oh and im looking forward to seeing cedarians after exams x)